Is it important to be a nice, positive person all the time? When people ask how your day was, how a recent experience was, or how life is going you should say: “Great!” or, at least “Fine.” Right?
Being nice is a good thing most of the time. But what are we supposed to do with that honest part of our experience? We think just focusing on the positive makes us a nicer, happier, healthier person.
However – here’s the truth:
- Healthy people express all of their emotions and embrace the wisdom that come from the darker ones too.
- Instead of the concept of a ‘process of elimination,’ consider it more of a ‘process of illumination.’
- Here’s the truth: Either you own your shadow, or it owns you.
What greatness in you remains unspoken, undiscovered? Shed light on the positive and unrealized aspects of your dark side, and think about acknowledging your angry feelings when you first feel them – not stuff them down only to have them get stronger and shoot out at someone down the road. THIS is a healthier way to approach hard emotions. You’re actually being a nicer person when you’re completely honest.
Friends who are always nice, always positive, and never come unraveled are not honest human beings. When we deny the validity of our dark emotions, we become passive-aggressive, belligerent or even abusive. Humans thrive best when they live in honest balance…